Thursday, April 11, 2013

Can new things bloom, please?!?


It's beautiful, right? Many may conjure up ideas of an Ivy League school rather than one of Philly's notoriously rough, neighborhood schools, Overbook High.

For three years, I have so loved the way Overbrook looks in the fall and spring...as well as truly admired Germantown High during snowy weather.

Yes, I'm a history and architecture "nerd", but you can't really deny how awesome some of these places are.

It is sad (though I again state, I agree it's needed) that some will close, but it's an unfortunate fact that what goes on inside the walls, has not been anything close to beautiful for some time. True, there are exceptions. I see them almost daily. There are glimpses of hope, but it's hard to not feel overwhelmed sometimes at the majority that tends to create the climate and feel of the schools.

This entry is coming on the heels of some serious conversations with my colleagues, and has me feeling like there are some major things that need to burst open, bloom if you will, if we are going to make any progress at all. Some of these conversations, of course, center on the district and it's decisions regarding the closing schools and the contract, but the ones that have me really spinning, are those where we've really dug deep and spoken honestly about our students, and our relationships with them.

First of all, seniors are now starting to discuss their plans for after June. This had us talking about the true opportunities available, or more likely, not available, for many of our students. We know we come to school each day wanting to prepare them academically and socially for the "real world", but for most of them the world talking about is not "real". It's a foreign country, and a language they don't speak.

It was career day at Overbrook yesterday when I was there, and that gave us a lot to chew over after the sessions.

A particular session that stuck out for one of the teachers, was where a young, successful, African American woman began her talk asking the students why they cursed so much in the hallways. She proceeded to tell them how this is not ok, and how she simply doesn't understand it. The students were actually stunned silent for once. (Which, we agreed was better than them getting 'hype' with her about it, and being disrespectful.)

And yes it's uncomfortable, but we have to admit the role that race plays here. There is no way that the students would have heard the message the same way if a White professional had brought it up to them. Talking with one of the other young, white, teachers in the building, we were shaking our heads. It is frustrating. We truly want the best for our students. We come in everyday, to schools that many of our friends and family think we should transfer from, and we want to help our students learn skills to succeed.

The reality is though, they often don't hear us. Some yes, once they get to know us, give us a bit of an ear to talk to, but this is not the predominant theme. There is an attitude that we just can't understand their world, and often they will be quite upset with us, saying things like, "This is just me" or will even say that it's us being racist because we want them to speak in a different way.

Sigh.

Thankfully, I have quite a few relationships (and they are strong, trusted bonds) with some of the older Black teachers and we talked about this. They admit, it's unfair. They admit, that when they ask the students to listen, the response is different. Don't get me wrong, they still misbehave, but the verbal reactions are very different.

Anyway, this is just one example, one symbol of the overarching problem.

As I further discussed what the future holds for our students, one of the older black teachers admitted to how drastically these students need to change their world-view if they are to find success, but also that it's hard to change that world view when they often live in survival mode. When your life is day-to-day, you don't often have time to ponder things like "I wonder why my white teachers really don't want me to curse?"

But, there are stereotypes in reverse, and it's sad. Our students assume we are rich. Society sure has painted a black-and-white (pun intended) picture for them. They assume our lives are just Easy Street all the time. They assume our families are perfect. It really is astounding.

But, I digress.

I continued the conversation after school, with two amazing women who I admire. I will again point it out, because it needs to be noted, that these were older African American women. Though I wish it didn't matter, because I would love to be in a world where race was not a contentious issue, but something to always be celebrated, I know this is not the reality.

The three of us agreed, that until more people do what we did yesterday, and talk honestly about EVERYTHING, without being afraid of airing "dirty laundry" we can't make real change. And we did talk about everything. Just a few:
-The controversy over the "Accidental Racist" song and what that says about society today (which led to talking about the Confederate flag and how racial divides are different in the south than up here)
-Teenage pregnancy in the urban vs. white-suburban communities and what the different mindsets are
-HIV rates and reasons why
-How to get young black students to trust that I do have their real interests at heart
-How important it is for families...ALL families....to read to their young children, and to take real time to develop them prior to kindergarten.
-Talking about the statistics of language development in poor children vs. those of higher income familes in the first few years of life
-How students who may want to identify with feelings of "black power" need to learn the history (as do many adults too) and realize that doesn't need to mean anti-white
-Why when people like Bill Cosby call out 'his own people' ...many get angry
-How corner stores have such a negative impact on communities (though they used to be more positive places) and why nutrition is so important
-Things can't change until the district admits truth, and sets realistic goals. We can't be expecting proficient scores on 11th grade exams when very few of the students read anywhere close to grade level.

And more....

I mean, we went there. For real. We talked about what matters.

Then we got full circle, and came back to...so how do we get our students to see that their education is of great importance?

And we were exhausted.

But we agreed on a few things.

One, these conversations need to keep happening, and we have to keep believing that real human connection can overcome these boundaries.

Two, we agreed that the problem is LARGE. It's in our systems, and it's deep, and it is not going to be solved quickly, or perhaps in our lives. Something drastic needs to happen.

Three, we agreed that as easy as it is to feel overwhelmed, we have to keep trying. We talked about the old starfish story. That you've just gotta keep tossing them in the ocean the best you can, and believe.

I am seriously spinning with some of this. I have always been one to speak truth, and I wish more people would join in.

I'm using the "Accidental Racist" song as my starting point in conversations this week. Just to get the dialogue going. We can't be afraid to talk about things. As long as you are respectful, it's ok. You may say you aren't "racist" and perhaps not in a malicious way....but if you are afraid to bring up certain issues with a colleague in the office next to you because their skin color is diferent (whichever way it goes), that is racism.

These boundaries are not real. They are imagined, yet we truly act as if there are fences, in our neighborhoods and in our conversations.

So, if we want new things to bloom, we have to plant them. Talk, people. Talk honestly. And smile at each other along the way.