I used to say it wouldn't happen to me. I thought I would be that inspired, go-getter, make-a-difference, teacher for my whole career.
I was the teacher who stayed late, coached basketball, did the yearbook, created a community garden, ran detention, did school murals, or just hung out after school to talk to my students.
I did not get paid for most of this. I didn't even really care. At that point, I was newly married, but had a husband who was working late anyway, so I would just stay with my students and try to be as involved in improving my "at risk" school community as possible. When I had no children of my own, my students took over that part of my heart. I gave them all I had.
I've only ever taught in poor and urban districts. (Tucson, Allentown, and now here in Philly) I don't say this for accolades, but just to highlight the extra difficulties and lack of resources that come with the environment. This leads to burnout very early on for many new teachers.
I pushed through. I would go home and cry for the stories my students told me. I would ask family and friends for extra resources. I wrote in for grants to get materials or to bring people/speakers/events to the school.
I never did summer school so that I could come back fully recharged to take on a new year with all my heart and soul.
I used to spend hundreds, many hundreds of dollars, to make sure my classroom could function as I wanted it to. Teachers get to write off $250 of expenses on their taxes. I know my receipts far exceeded that.
I went back to school right away for my M.A. and to get more certifications. A few years in to my career, I also completed the National Board Certification process.
Again, this is not to pat myself on the back, but to make that point that I did this as a real calling and career. I did not choose teaching for getting the summers off, or because I thought it would be an "easy" job.
It has been anything but easy. I've been frustrated with a broken district...with apathetic and disrespectful people from the leaders to yes, many students and parents....but when I had those few gems each year, those students who shined so brightly through their circumstances, that I knew I had to keep going. Starfish theory. I would remain in a broken situation to be a part of the solution, no matter how small.
I've seen many unfortunate issues with racism, it plagues this district. I've had many things stolen and broken, including a laptop. I've been to the district physicians because of breaking up a fight between 8th grade boys....etc, etc, etc. I say to people, "Remember 'Dangerous Minds' and 'Freedom Writers'? Yeah, it's really like that."
And, it's true. But like in those stories, there are beautiful moments. I have learned about our society in a way I never imagined possible from my safe, suburban upbringing. I have looked into so many dark corners of my own heart and mind, and have come to realize who I am, and what my purpose is. My students are a huge part of this personal growth, and I will forever be grateful.
Last year I started an entirely new journey, teaching Life Skills. My students are all labeled with Intellectual Disability, and some are also Autistic, Non-Verbal, Emotional Support, etc.
I have found that I really enjoy this too. And it has proven to me, that really, I just love teaching. You can pretty much throw me into any classroom and I'll find something to love.
But something has turned off.
The continuous lack of support for teachers has really caused a lack of morale, even for the most hopeful of us.
I can also fully admit, that having my own child changed me drastically. She comes first now. I'm a mom and then a teacher. I used to put teaching first, so nothing came between me and my students.
As soon as my priorities shifted, it's like a veil lifted, and all the things that could have caused my early burnout, finally came into plain sight.
I still love what I do. I still do all that is required of me from 8:00-3:04, but that's all I have in me to give most days.
An issue occurred this week, a few minutes after dismissal, with one of my students. I had already gone home for the day, but theres' a part of me that feels guilty for not still being here. I remember the teacher I used to be. She would have still been at school.
But then I think. At least I'm still here from 8:00-3:04. I know so many people who have transferred to "better" districts, or have changed careers for more money.
My principal was clearly disappointed, and I know it wasn't really towards me, it was towards the atmosphere in general. She said, "I know people can leave right at 3:04, I just wish it wasn't really like that."
I just nodded. I too, wish it wasn't like that. But it is. I wanted to say it, but I didn't. She knows the situation. We haven't had a raise or our traditional "step increase" in 3 years. There is less and less money for classroom supplies, yet we are expected to do more. We keep losing teachers so class sizes are increasing. They keep talking of actually cutting our benefits and salary.
Sigh.
So yes, when it's 3:04, I want to go home. I want to go hug my own child.
I'll be back at 8:00, greeting my students with a smiling face and will love them the best I can for those 7 hours.
I'm very doubtful now that this will be my life-long career. I don't know how many more years I have left in me, and it will certainly be bittersweet if and when I make the change.
I know Philadelphia is not alone in this situation. I wish there was something that could change the dynamic. I wish poor and struggling districts were given more energy and attention, not just more mandates and tests.
I wish that the motivated and inspirational teachers and administrators stayed. I wish for a lot of positive energy that isn't present. But sadly, I'm hitting that point I never thought I'd hit. I'm burning out.
I'll bring the positive vibes to my classroom for now, and until I leave. My starfish. That much I can still promise.
Friday, January 9, 2015
Monday, May 12, 2014
It's about so much more than football....
I finally had a chance to watch "We Could be King" last night. It's a documentary about the merger between Germantown and MLKing high schools, and their football program this past fall. I highly recommend it to everyone.
Yes, it's mostly about football, but through that lens we see the issues facing urban education and the young people who attend these institutions. Most importantly, it showcases the need for positive role models. The coach was touching with his repeated message of "humble and hungry" and how often he told the students that he loves them.
This completely resonated with me, and I was tearing up while watching the film last night. I have only ever taught in urban schools (Tucson, AZ; Allentown, and now Philly) and have always felt the need, as did this coach, to tell my students that I love them. I was also a basketball coach, and can understand that bond that comes from teaching teamwork and persistence in a setting other than the classroom, as that is not the area where many of these students are very comfortable.
I remember a few times, where I was really trying to teach my middle schoolers some tough life lessons, and saying "I don't know if anyone else has told you they love you today, but I'm telling you"....and then I would proceed with what we needed to discuss. I know this made a huge difference in the dynamics in my classrooms over the years.
There are times, many times, where teaching in Philadelphia is emotionally draining. But when I see our world put out there like this...it inspires me to keep going. I see successful stories like this everyday, and we've got to believe in the starfish theory, or we can easily burn out.
Not too long ago, there was another news piece done by Diane Sawyer on Strawberry Mansion, but that left a bad taste afterwards. It was perhaps well intended, but to me it seems that it just exploited the problems and lives of the students for some drama and attention. And though there is certainly not always a happy ending for our students and our schools, that piece didn't really even seem to offer solutions or positivity. "We Could be King" very much does this.
The film has been playing on ESPNU for the past few weeks. Find it if you can!
Here is the link to the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy39JT2bruY
Yes, it's mostly about football, but through that lens we see the issues facing urban education and the young people who attend these institutions. Most importantly, it showcases the need for positive role models. The coach was touching with his repeated message of "humble and hungry" and how often he told the students that he loves them.
This completely resonated with me, and I was tearing up while watching the film last night. I have only ever taught in urban schools (Tucson, AZ; Allentown, and now Philly) and have always felt the need, as did this coach, to tell my students that I love them. I was also a basketball coach, and can understand that bond that comes from teaching teamwork and persistence in a setting other than the classroom, as that is not the area where many of these students are very comfortable.
I remember a few times, where I was really trying to teach my middle schoolers some tough life lessons, and saying "I don't know if anyone else has told you they love you today, but I'm telling you"....and then I would proceed with what we needed to discuss. I know this made a huge difference in the dynamics in my classrooms over the years.
There are times, many times, where teaching in Philadelphia is emotionally draining. But when I see our world put out there like this...it inspires me to keep going. I see successful stories like this everyday, and we've got to believe in the starfish theory, or we can easily burn out.
Not too long ago, there was another news piece done by Diane Sawyer on Strawberry Mansion, but that left a bad taste afterwards. It was perhaps well intended, but to me it seems that it just exploited the problems and lives of the students for some drama and attention. And though there is certainly not always a happy ending for our students and our schools, that piece didn't really even seem to offer solutions or positivity. "We Could be King" very much does this.
The film has been playing on ESPNU for the past few weeks. Find it if you can!
Here is the link to the trailer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy39JT2bruY
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Report Card Conferences
It's 1:06. No parents yet. Conferences are from 1-3 today and tomorrow, as well as 6-8 tonight.
I have report cards and student folders prepared, sitting next to me, while I work on my room (and sip my coffee and dance a bit to 88.5, but hey, an empty classroom is a glorious thing; I love my lil home away from home).
I know that most Philadelphia high schools are no longer "neighborhood" schools, so parents can not just walk a few blocks and come meet with us. I also realize that by high school, not many parents feel the need to come anyway.
However, since I teach Life Skills Support this year, I would think that parents of students with special needs would be eager to come talk about their child's progress and their transition goals. Maybe even just call to talk during this time (I gave my personal cell # to all families)??
I sent letters home in their daily folders, to remind them about conferences, and also sent this information home on the school-wide calendar for the month.
I love what I do. I love my kiddos. I love teaching. I would love to feel like more of a team with the parents of my students.
1:19. Still just me.
Please, parents, change this!
I have report cards and student folders prepared, sitting next to me, while I work on my room (and sip my coffee and dance a bit to 88.5, but hey, an empty classroom is a glorious thing; I love my lil home away from home).
I know that most Philadelphia high schools are no longer "neighborhood" schools, so parents can not just walk a few blocks and come meet with us. I also realize that by high school, not many parents feel the need to come anyway.
However, since I teach Life Skills Support this year, I would think that parents of students with special needs would be eager to come talk about their child's progress and their transition goals. Maybe even just call to talk during this time (I gave my personal cell # to all families)??
I sent letters home in their daily folders, to remind them about conferences, and also sent this information home on the school-wide calendar for the month.
I love what I do. I love my kiddos. I love teaching. I would love to feel like more of a team with the parents of my students.
1:19. Still just me.
Please, parents, change this!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Professional Development Conversation...How are things at your school?
Hello to all my Philly Education people!
I started a new position this year, and returned to a full-time Special Ed. position. It's been a little hectic getting settled, but I'm back in the swing of things. (Sidebar: Who created EASY IEP? And WHY is that the program the district chose?!? It's not very efficient.)
Anyway, I'm truly thankful to be at a school that seems to have made the school-closure-and-budget-frenzy transition smoothly, but I know there is still much work to be done on behalf of our schools and students.
Here at my high school, we have been keeping track of issues which have been difficult (or impossible), and other incidents that appear to be mainly due to the constraints made to staff and resources.
In the interest in getting a district-wide conversation going over the next 2 days while we have PD time to digest some things....please share along with me here or on Twitter.
What has been going on in your school now that things have taken form this year?
What are the greatest needs? (COUNSELORS seems to be the #1...but I know there are so many more)
What has gone well despite the cuts, and might not have been so important?
What resources/materials would most benefit your school?
Etc.
Happy November, talk soon!
I started a new position this year, and returned to a full-time Special Ed. position. It's been a little hectic getting settled, but I'm back in the swing of things. (Sidebar: Who created EASY IEP? And WHY is that the program the district chose?!? It's not very efficient.)
Anyway, I'm truly thankful to be at a school that seems to have made the school-closure-and-budget-frenzy transition smoothly, but I know there is still much work to be done on behalf of our schools and students.
Here at my high school, we have been keeping track of issues which have been difficult (or impossible), and other incidents that appear to be mainly due to the constraints made to staff and resources.
In the interest in getting a district-wide conversation going over the next 2 days while we have PD time to digest some things....please share along with me here or on Twitter.
What has been going on in your school now that things have taken form this year?
What are the greatest needs? (COUNSELORS seems to be the #1...but I know there are so many more)
What has gone well despite the cuts, and might not have been so important?
What resources/materials would most benefit your school?
Etc.
Happy November, talk soon!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Color Me Surprised
It was announced yesterday that Mrs. Jenkins will in fact be the prinicpal to replace Mr. Brandt when he leaves at the end of the school year.
This is such amazing news for the school and its community!
I wish I wasn't so surprised by such news, but this was an unexpected result. Everyone that I have talked to who has been in this district for a long time, (including administrators at other schools) said that the placement of principals seems to be a completely arbitrary and subjective decision by the "powers that be".
Sadly, it was also said by more than one person, that the trend tends to be that they don't like being "told" what to do, and often will not take recommendations into consideration for that very reason. I would think it would be the opposite, that a good leader would look to input from a community.....alas, much of what makes sense to many of us, does not seem to happen when the district makes decisions.
But, surprised or not, I'm thankful that it's a reality. As someone who works at both Germantown and Roxborough, I now have more hope that the transition from the Germantown closure will go more smoothly.
I do believe that an active alumni association, a community that was willing to speak up, and Mr. Brandt's willingness to fully disclose in his official letter that he recommended Mrs. Jenkins made a difference. Sometimes you really have to be enough of a "squeaky wheel" so that decision makers notice, and want to quiet things down. It should have been a easy decision though, simply by seeking the advice of a principal they respect, and following through.
Here's hoping that genuine respect and fair consideration is given in all other school closing/merger situations in the coming weeks.
I would LOVE to be pleasantly surprised by the district all summer long. Positive progress would be a wonderful thing!
Wishing nothing but the best to both Mr. Brandt and Mrs. Jenkins!
This is such amazing news for the school and its community!
I wish I wasn't so surprised by such news, but this was an unexpected result. Everyone that I have talked to who has been in this district for a long time, (including administrators at other schools) said that the placement of principals seems to be a completely arbitrary and subjective decision by the "powers that be".
Sadly, it was also said by more than one person, that the trend tends to be that they don't like being "told" what to do, and often will not take recommendations into consideration for that very reason. I would think it would be the opposite, that a good leader would look to input from a community.....alas, much of what makes sense to many of us, does not seem to happen when the district makes decisions.
But, surprised or not, I'm thankful that it's a reality. As someone who works at both Germantown and Roxborough, I now have more hope that the transition from the Germantown closure will go more smoothly.
I do believe that an active alumni association, a community that was willing to speak up, and Mr. Brandt's willingness to fully disclose in his official letter that he recommended Mrs. Jenkins made a difference. Sometimes you really have to be enough of a "squeaky wheel" so that decision makers notice, and want to quiet things down. It should have been a easy decision though, simply by seeking the advice of a principal they respect, and following through.
Here's hoping that genuine respect and fair consideration is given in all other school closing/merger situations in the coming weeks.
I would LOVE to be pleasantly surprised by the district all summer long. Positive progress would be a wonderful thing!
Wishing nothing but the best to both Mr. Brandt and Mrs. Jenkins!
Friday, May 31, 2013
What has really changed?
Just some food for thought this morning...
I work out of the library at Germantown High, and as they are closing, it's interesting to see some of the old books that are hidden in back rooms come to the surface.
This is a collection of books on education from the National Society for the Study of Education.
It appears they came out with a collection of "yearbooks" on various important topics in education.
The collection at Germantown is from the 1950's and 60's.
The topics were as follows:
Social Deviancy Among Youth
The Dynamics of Instructional Groups
Education for the Gifted
Art Education
Individualizing Education
Social Forces Influencing American Education
Child Psychology
Development In and Through Reading
Personnel Services in Education
Mental Health in Modern Education
In briefly skimming the contents and introductions of the books, much was said about the need for re-examining public education in the post-war society. Multiple times, I saw mentions of "values" that were changing, and it seemed to be the mission of these yearbooks to look at ways that schools could step in to continue creating productive citizens of this country.
So, I wonder, 50 plus years later, what has really changed?
Are these not the very issues that are at stake today, if we don't provide quality public education for all?
It seems the main difference, is that the teaching profession was given much more reverance for its role in creating these productive citizens. Schools were taken seriously as institutes of teaching and learning. Yes, there were awful issues on other fronts in terms of segregation, but let's also be real about that please. How much diversity is in the 99% African American high school I'm sitting in today? How much diversity was in the 99% white high school I attended?
So, instead, how about we take the students, whatever they look like....and educate them? Without cutting services for the important items listed above, from art education to mental health services.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Sad News at Roxborough High
Principal Steve Brandt just announced to staff and students this morning that he will not be returning to Roxborough next year. He is leaving the district, and made it clear that it is due to not being able to work under their current philosophies and ways of operating.
This is awful news for so many reasons.
Selfishly, yes, I want to see him stay. Roxborough has been a bright spot in my travels between high schools. It is BY FAR the best school climate I have seen in 3 years of traveling the district, and is miles ahead of where other neighborhood high schools are.
This school has turned around in his few years here, and he completely deserved the Lindback award for principal of the year.
I simply do not understand how a district that is struggling as ours is, cannot do more to keep one of the best and brightest young leaders that it has.
How can we ever expect to change things if this is how we operate? Forget budgets and contracts and school closings for a minute....take a look at what type of people you want here. It doesn't make sense.
Sorry, this is by the seat of my pants this morning, as I was floored with this announcement, but I'm apalled.
Steve is a product of this district, graduating from Roxborough himself. He really cares about this place. He poured his heart into this school.
And now, he's given his recommendation that Ms. Jenkins, his assistant principal replace him. This would be a great transition. She understands this building and what makes it work. However, the tone seems to be that this recommendation doesn't matter. The understanding is that the district will place who they see fit into this position.
I question, based on what exactly?!?! If you care about these students, and see how far they've come in a few years, why on earth would you possibly change that for them? This is an especially unique situation, with students pouring into Roxborough next year from the Germantown closure.
School District of Philadelphia, open your eyes. Save one of your neighborhood schools next year, by maintaining some continuity for the students and staff.
You are already losing an amazing principal; please don't throw away an entire school as well.
This is awful news for so many reasons.
Selfishly, yes, I want to see him stay. Roxborough has been a bright spot in my travels between high schools. It is BY FAR the best school climate I have seen in 3 years of traveling the district, and is miles ahead of where other neighborhood high schools are.
This school has turned around in his few years here, and he completely deserved the Lindback award for principal of the year.
I simply do not understand how a district that is struggling as ours is, cannot do more to keep one of the best and brightest young leaders that it has.
How can we ever expect to change things if this is how we operate? Forget budgets and contracts and school closings for a minute....take a look at what type of people you want here. It doesn't make sense.
Sorry, this is by the seat of my pants this morning, as I was floored with this announcement, but I'm apalled.
Steve is a product of this district, graduating from Roxborough himself. He really cares about this place. He poured his heart into this school.
And now, he's given his recommendation that Ms. Jenkins, his assistant principal replace him. This would be a great transition. She understands this building and what makes it work. However, the tone seems to be that this recommendation doesn't matter. The understanding is that the district will place who they see fit into this position.
I question, based on what exactly?!?! If you care about these students, and see how far they've come in a few years, why on earth would you possibly change that for them? This is an especially unique situation, with students pouring into Roxborough next year from the Germantown closure.
School District of Philadelphia, open your eyes. Save one of your neighborhood schools next year, by maintaining some continuity for the students and staff.
You are already losing an amazing principal; please don't throw away an entire school as well.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Anyone looking for Summer Tutoring?
Compassionate Tutoring Services
If you are interested in a different, more holistic approach to tutoring, please contact me for a consultation.
yogabeth218@gmail.com
I do not focus on test scores and “teaching to the test”, but rather through a whole-child approach to learning, I believe that there will be improvement in many areas.
I am a National Board Certified Teacher and am also PA licensed in the following areas:
Elementary Education K-6: For all content areas
Special Education K-12: I work with special needs students, and students with learning difficulties
Reading Specialist K-12: I will work on reading skills across the curriculum at any grade level
ESOL K-12: I work with students learning English, from entry level to advanced
yogabeth218@gmail.com
I do not focus on test scores and “teaching to the test”, but rather through a whole-child approach to learning, I believe that there will be improvement in many areas.
I am a National Board Certified Teacher and am also PA licensed in the following areas:
Elementary Education K-6: For all content areas
Special Education K-12: I work with special needs students, and students with learning difficulties
Reading Specialist K-12: I will work on reading skills across the curriculum at any grade level
ESOL K-12: I work with students learning English, from entry level to advanced
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Input Overload
I don't think I can process anymore "bad news" from this district.
My brain is seriously shutting off from it. Protective defense mechanism I guess, so that I don't go insane.
I see things on the news, almost nightly, about budget cuts, or the latest protest, and it all seems to bounce off now.
I just got an email last Friday, that next year I will no longer be in my current position from the past 3 years. I barely even reacted. I'm sad, yes, but there's nothing I can do. I will end up where I end up I guess.
I would like to say it's my zen, go with the flow personality, but I think it's much more that I just can't take on anymore stressful or toxic words and events.
I'm sitting here today on my prep, and it's nothing new, but the complete lack of respect for rules from about 60% of the students (I'm probably being generous) at this particular neighborhood HS just astounds me. Most of the kids don't really know me, as I'm only here one day a week, but I've been here for 3 years and they do recognize my face in the halls. Nonetheless, I get cursed out frequently. I barely react to that either. It's just sad. I just don't let it get through the walls anymore.
I have decidedly surrounded myself in a protective bubble from all toxic things that the School District of Philadelphia throws our way as teachers.
I am very positive when I see the bright spots. I run to them. I nurture the students who invite that attention.
I have great conversations with teachers and administrators who are progressive thinking and want to make changes.
I've been passionate about urban education since my years at Temple. This has not changed. I want to make a difference in the lives of my students. I want to work in any small ways I can to reform this broken system that leaves so many students without the means to succeed in the world.
I just wish that the very district that I would love so much to help...the very schools that I have poured so much passion into...would not create policies and environments where it is so hard to keep that passion alive.
So, who knows where I'll be next year. I will do the best I can, wherever I'm placed. I just hope that all that needs to be worked out this summer with school closings, teacher placement, and contract negotiations, can be done somewhat peacefully and fairly. I would like to feel some sense of renewal for the start of next school year.
I know so many teachers who really do want to make a difference, but who get burnt out quickly. These are good people, with great intentions, but it's hard when we so often aren't treated like professionals.
I really don't understand it. I mean, we all know we're being asked to move mountains with toothpicks, so it would just be nice if the policy makers and district "leaders" acknowledged that.
The state of public education, especially urban education, is ridiculously fragile....and it's not being handled with care.
But, though I barely heard the bell, I hear loud students, cursing and fighting....just had to head to the hallway to break up two young men locking arms....so that's my cue to put on my protective bubble and get back to work.
My brain is seriously shutting off from it. Protective defense mechanism I guess, so that I don't go insane.
I see things on the news, almost nightly, about budget cuts, or the latest protest, and it all seems to bounce off now.
I just got an email last Friday, that next year I will no longer be in my current position from the past 3 years. I barely even reacted. I'm sad, yes, but there's nothing I can do. I will end up where I end up I guess.
I would like to say it's my zen, go with the flow personality, but I think it's much more that I just can't take on anymore stressful or toxic words and events.
I'm sitting here today on my prep, and it's nothing new, but the complete lack of respect for rules from about 60% of the students (I'm probably being generous) at this particular neighborhood HS just astounds me. Most of the kids don't really know me, as I'm only here one day a week, but I've been here for 3 years and they do recognize my face in the halls. Nonetheless, I get cursed out frequently. I barely react to that either. It's just sad. I just don't let it get through the walls anymore.
I have decidedly surrounded myself in a protective bubble from all toxic things that the School District of Philadelphia throws our way as teachers.
I am very positive when I see the bright spots. I run to them. I nurture the students who invite that attention.
I have great conversations with teachers and administrators who are progressive thinking and want to make changes.
I've been passionate about urban education since my years at Temple. This has not changed. I want to make a difference in the lives of my students. I want to work in any small ways I can to reform this broken system that leaves so many students without the means to succeed in the world.
I just wish that the very district that I would love so much to help...the very schools that I have poured so much passion into...would not create policies and environments where it is so hard to keep that passion alive.
So, who knows where I'll be next year. I will do the best I can, wherever I'm placed. I just hope that all that needs to be worked out this summer with school closings, teacher placement, and contract negotiations, can be done somewhat peacefully and fairly. I would like to feel some sense of renewal for the start of next school year.
I know so many teachers who really do want to make a difference, but who get burnt out quickly. These are good people, with great intentions, but it's hard when we so often aren't treated like professionals.
I really don't understand it. I mean, we all know we're being asked to move mountains with toothpicks, so it would just be nice if the policy makers and district "leaders" acknowledged that.
The state of public education, especially urban education, is ridiculously fragile....and it's not being handled with care.
But, though I barely heard the bell, I hear loud students, cursing and fighting....just had to head to the hallway to break up two young men locking arms....so that's my cue to put on my protective bubble and get back to work.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Can new things bloom, please?!?
It's beautiful, right? Many may conjure up ideas of an Ivy League school rather than one of Philly's notoriously rough, neighborhood schools, Overbook High.
For three years, I have so loved the way Overbrook looks in the fall and spring...as well as truly admired Germantown High during snowy weather.
Yes, I'm a history and architecture "nerd", but you can't really deny how awesome some of these places are.
It is sad (though I again state, I agree it's needed) that some will close, but it's an unfortunate fact that what goes on inside the walls, has not been anything close to beautiful for some time. True, there are exceptions. I see them almost daily. There are glimpses of hope, but it's hard to not feel overwhelmed sometimes at the majority that tends to create the climate and feel of the schools.
This entry is coming on the heels of some serious conversations with my colleagues, and has me feeling like there are some major things that need to burst open, bloom if you will, if we are going to make any progress at all. Some of these conversations, of course, center on the district and it's decisions regarding the closing schools and the contract, but the ones that have me really spinning, are those where we've really dug deep and spoken honestly about our students, and our relationships with them.
First of all, seniors are now starting to discuss their plans for after June. This had us talking about the true opportunities available, or more likely, not available, for many of our students. We know we come to school each day wanting to prepare them academically and socially for the "real world", but for most of them the world talking about is not "real". It's a foreign country, and a language they don't speak.
It was career day at Overbrook yesterday when I was there, and that gave us a lot to chew over after the sessions.
A particular session that stuck out for one of the teachers, was where a young, successful, African American woman began her talk asking the students why they cursed so much in the hallways. She proceeded to tell them how this is not ok, and how she simply doesn't understand it. The students were actually stunned silent for once. (Which, we agreed was better than them getting 'hype' with her about it, and being disrespectful.)
And yes it's uncomfortable, but we have to admit the role that race plays here. There is no way that the students would have heard the message the same way if a White professional had brought it up to them. Talking with one of the other young, white, teachers in the building, we were shaking our heads. It is frustrating. We truly want the best for our students. We come in everyday, to schools that many of our friends and family think we should transfer from, and we want to help our students learn skills to succeed.
The reality is though, they often don't hear us. Some yes, once they get to know us, give us a bit of an ear to talk to, but this is not the predominant theme. There is an attitude that we just can't understand their world, and often they will be quite upset with us, saying things like, "This is just me" or will even say that it's us being racist because we want them to speak in a different way.
Sigh.
Thankfully, I have quite a few relationships (and they are strong, trusted bonds) with some of the older Black teachers and we talked about this. They admit, it's unfair. They admit, that when they ask the students to listen, the response is different. Don't get me wrong, they still misbehave, but the verbal reactions are very different.
Anyway, this is just one example, one symbol of the overarching problem.
As I further discussed what the future holds for our students, one of the older black teachers admitted to how drastically these students need to change their world-view if they are to find success, but also that it's hard to change that world view when they often live in survival mode. When your life is day-to-day, you don't often have time to ponder things like "I wonder why my white teachers really don't want me to curse?"
But, there are stereotypes in reverse, and it's sad. Our students assume we are rich. Society sure has painted a black-and-white (pun intended) picture for them. They assume our lives are just Easy Street all the time. They assume our families are perfect. It really is astounding.
But, I digress.
I continued the conversation after school, with two amazing women who I admire. I will again point it out, because it needs to be noted, that these were older African American women. Though I wish it didn't matter, because I would love to be in a world where race was not a contentious issue, but something to always be celebrated, I know this is not the reality.
The three of us agreed, that until more people do what we did yesterday, and talk honestly about EVERYTHING, without being afraid of airing "dirty laundry" we can't make real change. And we did talk about everything. Just a few:
-The controversy over the "Accidental Racist" song and what that says about society today (which led to talking about the Confederate flag and how racial divides are different in the south than up here)
-Teenage pregnancy in the urban vs. white-suburban communities and what the different mindsets are
-HIV rates and reasons why
-How to get young black students to trust that I do have their real interests at heart
-How important it is for families...ALL families....to read to their young children, and to take real time to develop them prior to kindergarten.
-Talking about the statistics of language development in poor children vs. those of higher income familes in the first few years of life
-How students who may want to identify with feelings of "black power" need to learn the history (as do many adults too) and realize that doesn't need to mean anti-white
-Why when people like Bill Cosby call out 'his own people' ...many get angry
-How corner stores have such a negative impact on communities (though they used to be more positive places) and why nutrition is so important
-Things can't change until the district admits truth, and sets realistic goals. We can't be expecting proficient scores on 11th grade exams when very few of the students read anywhere close to grade level.
And more....
I mean, we went there. For real. We talked about what matters.
Then we got full circle, and came back to...so how do we get our students to see that their education is of great importance?
And we were exhausted.
But we agreed on a few things.
One, these conversations need to keep happening, and we have to keep believing that real human connection can overcome these boundaries.
Two, we agreed that the problem is LARGE. It's in our systems, and it's deep, and it is not going to be solved quickly, or perhaps in our lives. Something drastic needs to happen.
Three, we agreed that as easy as it is to feel overwhelmed, we have to keep trying. We talked about the old starfish story. That you've just gotta keep tossing them in the ocean the best you can, and believe.
I am seriously spinning with some of this. I have always been one to speak truth, and I wish more people would join in.
I'm using the "Accidental Racist" song as my starting point in conversations this week. Just to get the dialogue going. We can't be afraid to talk about things. As long as you are respectful, it's ok. You may say you aren't "racist" and perhaps not in a malicious way....but if you are afraid to bring up certain issues with a colleague in the office next to you because their skin color is diferent (whichever way it goes), that is racism.
These boundaries are not real. They are imagined, yet we truly act as if there are fences, in our neighborhoods and in our conversations.
So, if we want new things to bloom, we have to plant them. Talk, people. Talk honestly. And smile at each other along the way.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
To be, or not to be...
...Union. That is the question.
I know many of my peers get upset with me when I say I don't really care if I'm union or not. Truly though, at this point, I don't know what good it's doing me.
That being said, I'm quite uneasy about the district's challenges and decisions that are coming to a head in the next few months. I am hoping that the union and district can be civil and act with some common sense as this moves forward. I certainly wish I wasn't in a career where every few years there's a "fight" between two entities that determines our fate. There shouldn't be any sides to take; it should be about choosing quality educational programs and materials, and maintainig a highly qualified teaching staff.
I cannot comprehend how massive school closings (which, as mentioned in previous blogs, I do agree with, as long as they are done effectively and with a great deal of planning) can be implemented with care, if there is also a huge contract battle going on. When I hear the union fighting these school closings, holding rallies to protest them, it just makes me wonder why? It's not financially responsbile to operate these half empty, falling apart buildings.
These are two major projects, and I don't see how either can be done with integrity, if BOTH are needing to happen in the same summer. Truly, the biggest thing they could do to gain some respect and traction would be to concede to all the closings, agree that the district needs that massive change, and just focus on the teacher issues afterwards.
Yesterday, there was a big union meeting, only open to PFT members. I did not attend. I could say it's because I have a baby to pick up, but honestly, I don't see what good it would have done me to go. I got a recap from many already today. From what was shared with me, the feeling is not good....the feeling is that it will be an ugly fight, the feeling is that we have no power as as union anyway, etc.
I am nervous about what my salary and contract stipulations will be next year, yes. I am thinking I should apply elsewhere, or even look into a career change. This makes me sad, because I love teaching, I really do, but I can't deal with the politics.
And the teachers union, and how it negotiates with the district, is all politics.
I want to educate children. I went to 6 years of college, no online degrees, REAL schools, just for teaching. I'm certified in 5 areas, have a M.A. degree, and am now Nationally Board certified. I don't say this to pat myself on the back, but to make a point. I didn't just pick this job for summers off, or because it was easy, like I hear many people say about teachers. I chose it as a profession, and I want to be treated like a professional.
Bottom line, yes, our district has no money, so changes need to be made. I don't feel though, that they should make those changes in a way that takes away from incentives that keep quality educators in a district that is in desperate need of quality.
And when I hear some teachers complaining about giving in to anything....whether it's paying a bit towards benefits (which, fine, most people do! That in no way disrespects me as an educator to ask for that) or getting less money for accumulated sick days (c'mon, really, I get it, they were "your days" but let's look at the big picture here), I want to bang my head on the desk.
This is the stuff that gives unions a bad name, and that makes teachers come off in this negative light. This is the stuff that makes people in the media (well, conservative media anway) say that unions are killing our schools.
However, despite some of the old, ingrained, union mentality that tends to rub me the wrong way, I do want to point out that you don't hear the media complaining that unions are killing education in wealthier districts. It's in the poor, usually large urban areas, where these battles are happening. So union or not, can we at least admit that the educational problems in these districts are far deeper, and much more related to poverty and parenting, than anything the district or union has or has not done? No one wants to say it, or address it, because it doesn't seem "Fair"....but it's true. We can't make progress until we address the real issues.
To be clear, I love urban education. I went to Temple, and have worked in North Philly schools for years. I love and care for my students, and often go far beyond any minimum contract definition of my job for them.
I hear too, that I'm the type of teacher that should go teach in a charter school. This is frustrating, and confusing. Why should I leave? Because my ideas are creative, are outside the rigid box of union solidarity? I want to stay in a district, where I feel I was blessed with a gift to work this particular, sometime challenging population of students. I just want to be recognized as a professional as I do this.
Come on Philly Education, from both "sides" let's do these changes right please.
I know many of my peers get upset with me when I say I don't really care if I'm union or not. Truly though, at this point, I don't know what good it's doing me.
That being said, I'm quite uneasy about the district's challenges and decisions that are coming to a head in the next few months. I am hoping that the union and district can be civil and act with some common sense as this moves forward. I certainly wish I wasn't in a career where every few years there's a "fight" between two entities that determines our fate. There shouldn't be any sides to take; it should be about choosing quality educational programs and materials, and maintainig a highly qualified teaching staff.
I cannot comprehend how massive school closings (which, as mentioned in previous blogs, I do agree with, as long as they are done effectively and with a great deal of planning) can be implemented with care, if there is also a huge contract battle going on. When I hear the union fighting these school closings, holding rallies to protest them, it just makes me wonder why? It's not financially responsbile to operate these half empty, falling apart buildings.
These are two major projects, and I don't see how either can be done with integrity, if BOTH are needing to happen in the same summer. Truly, the biggest thing they could do to gain some respect and traction would be to concede to all the closings, agree that the district needs that massive change, and just focus on the teacher issues afterwards.
Yesterday, there was a big union meeting, only open to PFT members. I did not attend. I could say it's because I have a baby to pick up, but honestly, I don't see what good it would have done me to go. I got a recap from many already today. From what was shared with me, the feeling is not good....the feeling is that it will be an ugly fight, the feeling is that we have no power as as union anyway, etc.
I am nervous about what my salary and contract stipulations will be next year, yes. I am thinking I should apply elsewhere, or even look into a career change. This makes me sad, because I love teaching, I really do, but I can't deal with the politics.
And the teachers union, and how it negotiates with the district, is all politics.
I want to educate children. I went to 6 years of college, no online degrees, REAL schools, just for teaching. I'm certified in 5 areas, have a M.A. degree, and am now Nationally Board certified. I don't say this to pat myself on the back, but to make a point. I didn't just pick this job for summers off, or because it was easy, like I hear many people say about teachers. I chose it as a profession, and I want to be treated like a professional.
Bottom line, yes, our district has no money, so changes need to be made. I don't feel though, that they should make those changes in a way that takes away from incentives that keep quality educators in a district that is in desperate need of quality.
And when I hear some teachers complaining about giving in to anything....whether it's paying a bit towards benefits (which, fine, most people do! That in no way disrespects me as an educator to ask for that) or getting less money for accumulated sick days (c'mon, really, I get it, they were "your days" but let's look at the big picture here), I want to bang my head on the desk.
This is the stuff that gives unions a bad name, and that makes teachers come off in this negative light. This is the stuff that makes people in the media (well, conservative media anway) say that unions are killing our schools.
However, despite some of the old, ingrained, union mentality that tends to rub me the wrong way, I do want to point out that you don't hear the media complaining that unions are killing education in wealthier districts. It's in the poor, usually large urban areas, where these battles are happening. So union or not, can we at least admit that the educational problems in these districts are far deeper, and much more related to poverty and parenting, than anything the district or union has or has not done? No one wants to say it, or address it, because it doesn't seem "Fair"....but it's true. We can't make progress until we address the real issues.
To be clear, I love urban education. I went to Temple, and have worked in North Philly schools for years. I love and care for my students, and often go far beyond any minimum contract definition of my job for them.
I hear too, that I'm the type of teacher that should go teach in a charter school. This is frustrating, and confusing. Why should I leave? Because my ideas are creative, are outside the rigid box of union solidarity? I want to stay in a district, where I feel I was blessed with a gift to work this particular, sometime challenging population of students. I just want to be recognized as a professional as I do this.
Come on Philly Education, from both "sides" let's do these changes right please.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Say what you mean...
....and mean what you say.
I've used this line so many times in life, and want to scream it at both arguing sides of the school district right now.
Everyone thinks it's a game, that in the first proposal they are going way too far, in realization that after negotiations, much less will become the reality.
I am not naive, and realize this is how politics works, but for lack of better word, this is just stupid.
They are talking about people's lives when they throw these numbers out there. Speaking as a single mom, I'm freaked out by the possibility of a 13% pay cut, plus needing to pay for benefits.
(And this is aside from all the other, non-financial ideas, which I'll opine on later when I have time to cool down a bit.)
Clearly, a major effort is being made to push many of the close-to-retirement teachers over the edge, and choose to leave. Well, basic psych 101, how about offering some incentives for that to happen (that will still ultimately save the district money as high-salaried employees make exodus), as opposed to making them scared and angry?
I realize that we are in a financial MESS as a district, and I am actually all for the closing and consolidation of schools. I work at many that will be affected, and though there will be challenges due to these moves, it is much needed. We do not need to keep open buildings that are at 60% occupancy.
However, let's let that play out first. Let's see how much money that saves, see how that impacts teachers and students, and THEN, next year, work with any major changes to the contract.
As a starting point though, can we please be honest and treat each other with respect? It is really frustrating that public education looks so ugly every few years when contract time rolls around. We are teaching students, in a city, where not all that many people would be willing to come teach. Let's make it so that we don't lose quality professionals to educate today's youth.
I've used this line so many times in life, and want to scream it at both arguing sides of the school district right now.
Everyone thinks it's a game, that in the first proposal they are going way too far, in realization that after negotiations, much less will become the reality.
I am not naive, and realize this is how politics works, but for lack of better word, this is just stupid.
They are talking about people's lives when they throw these numbers out there. Speaking as a single mom, I'm freaked out by the possibility of a 13% pay cut, plus needing to pay for benefits.
(And this is aside from all the other, non-financial ideas, which I'll opine on later when I have time to cool down a bit.)
Clearly, a major effort is being made to push many of the close-to-retirement teachers over the edge, and choose to leave. Well, basic psych 101, how about offering some incentives for that to happen (that will still ultimately save the district money as high-salaried employees make exodus), as opposed to making them scared and angry?
I realize that we are in a financial MESS as a district, and I am actually all for the closing and consolidation of schools. I work at many that will be affected, and though there will be challenges due to these moves, it is much needed. We do not need to keep open buildings that are at 60% occupancy.
However, let's let that play out first. Let's see how much money that saves, see how that impacts teachers and students, and THEN, next year, work with any major changes to the contract.
As a starting point though, can we please be honest and treat each other with respect? It is really frustrating that public education looks so ugly every few years when contract time rolls around. We are teaching students, in a city, where not all that many people would be willing to come teach. Let's make it so that we don't lose quality professionals to educate today's youth.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I can finally add those four letters to my email signature....
NBCT. Yes, after all this work, I happily placed those letters after my name.
I have worked for three years to earn this certification. The word "Accomplished" is used often in the process. This always sort of bothered me though, especially when I didn't pass in my first two tries. I knew I was an accomplished teacher. I knew that I went above and beyond for my students. It bothered me that I was not getting the official stamp of approval from this organization to validate what I knew.
Of course, certifying feels great. I am very glad that I stuck with the process. For anyone else thinking of doing it, or anyone who did not pass in their first (or second) year, I would say, do it, and keep going.
However, you have to keep this thing in perspective. There are tricks to it. You have to play by their rules. You have to show you are accomplished in the VERY PRECISE ways that they ask for. For those of us in urban districts like Philadelphia, we do not always get to teach in a world where this is easy to do.
My first year, I know that I fell short of what they were asking me to demonstrate in the classroom. However, much of what I wrote up in my entries ended up sounding like a blame-game, and I see that now. I repeatedly mentioned that I just "couldn't" teach the way that they were asking, because our principal never allowed for any flexibility. And this was very true, I was at a school at the time, where I was threatened with write-ups if I strayed from the core-curriculum. However, the National Board people don't want to hear this. They want to see that accomplished teaching, and evidence of its success, no matter what.
Alas, I tried again. My second year, I had to "borrow" classrooms of students, as I was a traveling teacher. This made things quite interesting. So now, I had to prove I was accomplished while working with students that I barely knew. And, was paying $700 to do so, which was beginning to nag at me. (Don't want to digress too much, but many of us in the process were wondering at the money making purpose of this organinzation, much like all the standardized testing out there in the world.)
So, here is where I will call out the NB scorers a bit. I did my video entries in two very different schools. For those that know the city, one classroom was a very tough 9th grade mix of kids at Gratz, and the other was a very respectful group of kids at the Leeds Military Academy. I taped one time, one 20 minute lesson, and had exactly what I needed at Leeds. This small group entry scored wonderfully, passing, and labeling me "accomplished." To be honest, I barely knew these students. Yes, my lesson was quite awesome, as was my write up, but I was floored that this system labels someone accomplished based on 15 minutes of tape, when they knew nothing else.
Now, for the Gratz taping. I taped MANY times in order to get a lesson that I thought could even possibly work. (And had to bribe the kids with pizza in order to get the most out of the lessons, as they were quite used to not participating actively in their Enlish 1 class.) Through the months, I really got to know these kids. I tailored and changed my lessons to meet their individual needs. I know in my heart and gut that my write up was just as good for this entry, but I did not pass. This entry was not scored as if I was an "accomplished" teacher.
So, this left me perplexed and quite jaded with the process last November, when I learned that I fell short of passing for a second time. I began to see just how subjective this really is. I KNOW that I was genuinely a more accomplished teacher with my Gratz students, yet that entry is not the one that passed. It did make me wonder who scored it. It made me wonder if it was someone who never saw a typically urban, high risk classroom setting, and if that altered their ability to score fairly.
But, frustrated as I was, I was not going to try for the first two years, and not finish the third and final attempt. I only had a few points to make up, so I only re-took some of the tests. (Still, three re-takes, that was another $1000...adding to my pressure and frustration). I figured that the tests were at least a bit more objective, even though they are still essays that someone must read and score.
Well, fast forwad to last Saturday, I finally passed!!! I was, and am, thrilled. I did learn a lot about myself as a teacher in the process. I also learned though, that there is no way you should allow some outside group of assessors, who never meets you or your students to make you feel accomplished or not.
I will do my best now to help others through this process (though there are very strict guidelines to what is allowed, so please know that). If you have any questions, just ask!
Happy Thanksgiving!
I have worked for three years to earn this certification. The word "Accomplished" is used often in the process. This always sort of bothered me though, especially when I didn't pass in my first two tries. I knew I was an accomplished teacher. I knew that I went above and beyond for my students. It bothered me that I was not getting the official stamp of approval from this organization to validate what I knew.
Of course, certifying feels great. I am very glad that I stuck with the process. For anyone else thinking of doing it, or anyone who did not pass in their first (or second) year, I would say, do it, and keep going.
However, you have to keep this thing in perspective. There are tricks to it. You have to play by their rules. You have to show you are accomplished in the VERY PRECISE ways that they ask for. For those of us in urban districts like Philadelphia, we do not always get to teach in a world where this is easy to do.
My first year, I know that I fell short of what they were asking me to demonstrate in the classroom. However, much of what I wrote up in my entries ended up sounding like a blame-game, and I see that now. I repeatedly mentioned that I just "couldn't" teach the way that they were asking, because our principal never allowed for any flexibility. And this was very true, I was at a school at the time, where I was threatened with write-ups if I strayed from the core-curriculum. However, the National Board people don't want to hear this. They want to see that accomplished teaching, and evidence of its success, no matter what.
Alas, I tried again. My second year, I had to "borrow" classrooms of students, as I was a traveling teacher. This made things quite interesting. So now, I had to prove I was accomplished while working with students that I barely knew. And, was paying $700 to do so, which was beginning to nag at me. (Don't want to digress too much, but many of us in the process were wondering at the money making purpose of this organinzation, much like all the standardized testing out there in the world.)
So, here is where I will call out the NB scorers a bit. I did my video entries in two very different schools. For those that know the city, one classroom was a very tough 9th grade mix of kids at Gratz, and the other was a very respectful group of kids at the Leeds Military Academy. I taped one time, one 20 minute lesson, and had exactly what I needed at Leeds. This small group entry scored wonderfully, passing, and labeling me "accomplished." To be honest, I barely knew these students. Yes, my lesson was quite awesome, as was my write up, but I was floored that this system labels someone accomplished based on 15 minutes of tape, when they knew nothing else.
Now, for the Gratz taping. I taped MANY times in order to get a lesson that I thought could even possibly work. (And had to bribe the kids with pizza in order to get the most out of the lessons, as they were quite used to not participating actively in their Enlish 1 class.) Through the months, I really got to know these kids. I tailored and changed my lessons to meet their individual needs. I know in my heart and gut that my write up was just as good for this entry, but I did not pass. This entry was not scored as if I was an "accomplished" teacher.
So, this left me perplexed and quite jaded with the process last November, when I learned that I fell short of passing for a second time. I began to see just how subjective this really is. I KNOW that I was genuinely a more accomplished teacher with my Gratz students, yet that entry is not the one that passed. It did make me wonder who scored it. It made me wonder if it was someone who never saw a typically urban, high risk classroom setting, and if that altered their ability to score fairly.
But, frustrated as I was, I was not going to try for the first two years, and not finish the third and final attempt. I only had a few points to make up, so I only re-took some of the tests. (Still, three re-takes, that was another $1000...adding to my pressure and frustration). I figured that the tests were at least a bit more objective, even though they are still essays that someone must read and score.
Well, fast forwad to last Saturday, I finally passed!!! I was, and am, thrilled. I did learn a lot about myself as a teacher in the process. I also learned though, that there is no way you should allow some outside group of assessors, who never meets you or your students to make you feel accomplished or not.
I will do my best now to help others through this process (though there are very strict guidelines to what is allowed, so please know that). If you have any questions, just ask!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Back from Hiatus
I was getting frustrated with sharing my thoughts and observations, as I felt I was seeing the same things year to year.
However, each day there truly is something (or a few somethings) that I see that that makes my head buzz with either shock or awe. I don't think that most people outside of the education world really know what goes on inside school walls, and as it is "public" education, that it should be made more public. Hence my original idea for the blog title.
If I can be one small voice in expressing what really goes on in a large urban district, then despite my frustrations, I feel like I might as well keep on sharing. Whether it is for simple awareness, or to hope on a larger scale for political change in education, truth is needed.
So, I am going to make a real effort to share more of my experiences in Philadelphia high schools. In the meantime, starting again today, I will re-commit to my daily "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" on Twitter.
And as an afterthought...some statistics I just learned in a course I'm taking. Just some mind candy for y'all.
58% - the graduation rate of Special Ed. Students
5% - how many in our nation's adult population are ex Special Ed. Students
50% - how many in the prison population are ex Special Ed. Students
The professor said, "Our traditional special education model is fatally flawed."
And as an after, after thought...perhaps a homework assignment... Find any research at all that shows that summer school helps to close an achievement gap or brings struggling students closer to grade level success. Please share if you find it. I doubt you will.
However, each day there truly is something (or a few somethings) that I see that that makes my head buzz with either shock or awe. I don't think that most people outside of the education world really know what goes on inside school walls, and as it is "public" education, that it should be made more public. Hence my original idea for the blog title.
If I can be one small voice in expressing what really goes on in a large urban district, then despite my frustrations, I feel like I might as well keep on sharing. Whether it is for simple awareness, or to hope on a larger scale for political change in education, truth is needed.
So, I am going to make a real effort to share more of my experiences in Philadelphia high schools. In the meantime, starting again today, I will re-commit to my daily "Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down" on Twitter.
And as an afterthought...some statistics I just learned in a course I'm taking. Just some mind candy for y'all.
58% - the graduation rate of Special Ed. Students
5% - how many in our nation's adult population are ex Special Ed. Students
50% - how many in the prison population are ex Special Ed. Students
The professor said, "Our traditional special education model is fatally flawed."
And as an after, after thought...perhaps a homework assignment... Find any research at all that shows that summer school helps to close an achievement gap or brings struggling students closer to grade level success. Please share if you find it. I doubt you will.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Maternity Musings
Being a new mom gives me a totally new perspective on, well, everything. Teaching and all of the issues (time management, pumping at school, childcare, getting around 440 with a stroller, etc) that come with it has been eye opening.
First of all, our maternity leave policy is just sad. I know it's not only in teaching, but 6 weeks, unpaid, is just awful!! At many private companies you get at least 6 weeks, often 12, and it's paid. Had we not been responsible and saved up so I could stay home longer, I would have been an absolute wreck. I have a great baby, who sleeps pretty well, but there was NO WAY I would have been ready to return to work in March.
Then, unfortunately I had some trouble with major post-partum depression/anxiety issues. For me it was more the anxiety piece, but it was no joke. I was going to counseling through my midwives at The Birth Center, as well as a family therapist that I'd been seeing for years. I asked Employee Health Services if my wage-continuation/maternity leave could be extended due to my condition. They said I would have to get a letter written from a psychiatrist. Well, my counselor or midwives are not psychiatrists, so I found one and set up a few visits. She wrote me a letter right away, seeing my condition, and we sent it to Health Services. Within hours, I was told that the district physician did not consider my condition "medically severe" enough.
I was apalled. Thankfully, I'm mostly better now, but at that time, there is no way that I should have been cleared to work. As is often the case with mental health issues, it was not given the attention that it deserved. What frustrates me is how the district made their decision, by using a doctor who never even met me. How is that fair, when my midwives, counselor, and a psychiatrist all confirmed that I was suffereing from depression and anxiety?
I don't mind talking about it, and I'm not embarrassed about it. Maybe if enough people put it out there, things will change. I did ask if I could appeal, and was told that I could go through the union if I wanted to fight it. I'm sure I could have, and maybe even would have won, but at that time, 6 weeks post-partum, I was busy taking care of a newborn. Adding in a union fight would have only added to my anxiety, so I didn't appeal.
Now, with more clarity and sanity back in my life, I almost want to go back and do something about it. But, what's done is done.
So, then came actually returning to work. Which, thankfully, has been fine. All of the staff who stepped up to help in my absence was great! I'm thankful for all the well-wishes and loving words for Estrella and I. Not once was I ever made to feel guilty for taking over 3 months off. Not once have I been pressured to make up work that I may have missed. Super shout out to all the teachers, principals, secretaries and other staff that made coming back much easier than I had anticipated.
The hardest part (well, other than leaving my precious baby at home) has honestly been finding places to pump at work. This is something else that really should be addressed in a district our size. I know there are actually laws about this, and it's time the district got with the program. I do realize that they have more pressing concerns, but I've had to pump from my car on a a few occasions (luckily I have a car with a full AC outlet) and that's not okay. I generally use nurses' offices (since there are rarely nurses in most of my schools anyway, which is a whole other issue) and that's not so bad in terms of privacy, but the schools are just dirty. No lie, yesterday, in the nurse's office as I'm setting up my pump, a roach ran across the table. ACK! ICK! GROSS. Period.
Two. More. Weeks. I love what I do, and these few weeks were good to "get my feet wet" with the working mom thing, but I'm ready for the summer with my baby girl. I'll stock up with more sanitizing supplies and be ready for September when it rolls around.
First of all, our maternity leave policy is just sad. I know it's not only in teaching, but 6 weeks, unpaid, is just awful!! At many private companies you get at least 6 weeks, often 12, and it's paid. Had we not been responsible and saved up so I could stay home longer, I would have been an absolute wreck. I have a great baby, who sleeps pretty well, but there was NO WAY I would have been ready to return to work in March.
Then, unfortunately I had some trouble with major post-partum depression/anxiety issues. For me it was more the anxiety piece, but it was no joke. I was going to counseling through my midwives at The Birth Center, as well as a family therapist that I'd been seeing for years. I asked Employee Health Services if my wage-continuation/maternity leave could be extended due to my condition. They said I would have to get a letter written from a psychiatrist. Well, my counselor or midwives are not psychiatrists, so I found one and set up a few visits. She wrote me a letter right away, seeing my condition, and we sent it to Health Services. Within hours, I was told that the district physician did not consider my condition "medically severe" enough.
I was apalled. Thankfully, I'm mostly better now, but at that time, there is no way that I should have been cleared to work. As is often the case with mental health issues, it was not given the attention that it deserved. What frustrates me is how the district made their decision, by using a doctor who never even met me. How is that fair, when my midwives, counselor, and a psychiatrist all confirmed that I was suffereing from depression and anxiety?
I don't mind talking about it, and I'm not embarrassed about it. Maybe if enough people put it out there, things will change. I did ask if I could appeal, and was told that I could go through the union if I wanted to fight it. I'm sure I could have, and maybe even would have won, but at that time, 6 weeks post-partum, I was busy taking care of a newborn. Adding in a union fight would have only added to my anxiety, so I didn't appeal.
Now, with more clarity and sanity back in my life, I almost want to go back and do something about it. But, what's done is done.
So, then came actually returning to work. Which, thankfully, has been fine. All of the staff who stepped up to help in my absence was great! I'm thankful for all the well-wishes and loving words for Estrella and I. Not once was I ever made to feel guilty for taking over 3 months off. Not once have I been pressured to make up work that I may have missed. Super shout out to all the teachers, principals, secretaries and other staff that made coming back much easier than I had anticipated.
The hardest part (well, other than leaving my precious baby at home) has honestly been finding places to pump at work. This is something else that really should be addressed in a district our size. I know there are actually laws about this, and it's time the district got with the program. I do realize that they have more pressing concerns, but I've had to pump from my car on a a few occasions (luckily I have a car with a full AC outlet) and that's not okay. I generally use nurses' offices (since there are rarely nurses in most of my schools anyway, which is a whole other issue) and that's not so bad in terms of privacy, but the schools are just dirty. No lie, yesterday, in the nurse's office as I'm setting up my pump, a roach ran across the table. ACK! ICK! GROSS. Period.
Two. More. Weeks. I love what I do, and these few weeks were good to "get my feet wet" with the working mom thing, but I'm ready for the summer with my baby girl. I'll stock up with more sanitizing supplies and be ready for September when it rolls around.
It's been a while...yet, not much has changed
Here we are, June 1st, and once again the SDP budget for next year has everyone in a frenzy. Here we are, getting ready for summer vacation, and once again many teachers are unsure if they will return to their positions in the fall.
Is it stressful? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes. However, I'm trying to go with precedent here, and believe that things won't be so bad when the end of summer rolls around. I know the district operates at a huge deficit, and this is a problem for sure, but ultimately, the city will not just leave students to be without classrooms and teachers come September. (Though, scary rumblings that Chester is actually closing the doors to its high school make my head spin!)
So, what are we to do. We're told to wear red every Friday, and stand in front of our respective buildings. I don't do this. I never have. I know I have some very union oriented teacher friends who participate, and I'm sorry, I just can't do it. Instead, this morning at my school, there was a teacher breakfast (complete with shrimp and grits, gotta love it) which is a much better way to come together as a united front. As the secretary here said (and a shout out here to all the great school secretaries, you are amazing!) these breakfasts are about morale building. And, boy, morale is something that is missing in a lot of schools.
Alas, I will leave on June 19th not knowing for sure where I'll be again in the fall. I've gotten myself to a place mentally where this is okay. I've taught now for 8 years, and with the exception of 2 years in a row as an 8th grade English teacher, I've never been in the same position year after year.
It's just sad to me that education is something that always seems to be on the very public chopping (or auction) block. I do this because I love it. I don't like to hear teachers blamed for problems beyond our control. However, this involves society in general opening their eyes to the real problems (mainly poverty and its symptoms), and no one wants to do that.
I feel like I was writing almost the same thing last spring...sigh.
Is it stressful? Yes. Is it annoying? Yes. However, I'm trying to go with precedent here, and believe that things won't be so bad when the end of summer rolls around. I know the district operates at a huge deficit, and this is a problem for sure, but ultimately, the city will not just leave students to be without classrooms and teachers come September. (Though, scary rumblings that Chester is actually closing the doors to its high school make my head spin!)
So, what are we to do. We're told to wear red every Friday, and stand in front of our respective buildings. I don't do this. I never have. I know I have some very union oriented teacher friends who participate, and I'm sorry, I just can't do it. Instead, this morning at my school, there was a teacher breakfast (complete with shrimp and grits, gotta love it) which is a much better way to come together as a united front. As the secretary here said (and a shout out here to all the great school secretaries, you are amazing!) these breakfasts are about morale building. And, boy, morale is something that is missing in a lot of schools.
Alas, I will leave on June 19th not knowing for sure where I'll be again in the fall. I've gotten myself to a place mentally where this is okay. I've taught now for 8 years, and with the exception of 2 years in a row as an 8th grade English teacher, I've never been in the same position year after year.
It's just sad to me that education is something that always seems to be on the very public chopping (or auction) block. I do this because I love it. I don't like to hear teachers blamed for problems beyond our control. However, this involves society in general opening their eyes to the real problems (mainly poverty and its symptoms), and no one wants to do that.
I feel like I was writing almost the same thing last spring...sigh.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Back on track...thanks to the teachers!
It's early November, which means we are in the heart of the best learning season of the school year. September is all about getting settled, changing rosters, going over rules and expectations, getting to know one another and getting into the flow of the year. October and November are the two months where we are really able to get down to business and teach...after that, the holiday frenzy gets ahold of everyone, and after returning from the winter break, it's all about PSSA test prep.
I really love this time of the school year, all your plans from over the summer are finally taking shape (and of course the gorgeous fall weather just makes things feel better), and you feel like you can really get things accomplished during this year. First marking period grades have not been entered yet...so for the students, the year is still wide open for them to make it their own.
With all of the budget and leadership craziness this past summer, and so many people not being placed in teaching positions until just before the start of school, I would say that the train has gotten itself back on track pretty smoothly. But then, that's because teachers are running things! We just know how to do it. I mean, you get classes full of children staring at you in September, you better start doing something, lots of somethings really...or you will lose control of the whole year from the start. Despite everyone's grumblings, no one wants to have a bad year in their own classroom, for the students' sake or their own, so smoothing out the wrinkles (even the giant ones here in the SDP) just happens as teachers begin their practice. I just wish credit was given to the teachers where it's due. Yes, in schools where the administration is supportive, they deserve credit too...but I've seen plenty of classrooms back in the swing of things at schools where the administration is sub-par to say the least. So, go ahead teachers, pat yourself on the back!
As for the district, it's still a mess...there's still money problems, leadership problems, safety problems, inequities...the list goes on. However, most teachers I see are going full steam ahead and are deep in the learning process with their students. Happy November everyone! Take a minute to enjoy the path you've now carved out for your school year.
I really love this time of the school year, all your plans from over the summer are finally taking shape (and of course the gorgeous fall weather just makes things feel better), and you feel like you can really get things accomplished during this year. First marking period grades have not been entered yet...so for the students, the year is still wide open for them to make it their own.
With all of the budget and leadership craziness this past summer, and so many people not being placed in teaching positions until just before the start of school, I would say that the train has gotten itself back on track pretty smoothly. But then, that's because teachers are running things! We just know how to do it. I mean, you get classes full of children staring at you in September, you better start doing something, lots of somethings really...or you will lose control of the whole year from the start. Despite everyone's grumblings, no one wants to have a bad year in their own classroom, for the students' sake or their own, so smoothing out the wrinkles (even the giant ones here in the SDP) just happens as teachers begin their practice. I just wish credit was given to the teachers where it's due. Yes, in schools where the administration is supportive, they deserve credit too...but I've seen plenty of classrooms back in the swing of things at schools where the administration is sub-par to say the least. So, go ahead teachers, pat yourself on the back!
As for the district, it's still a mess...there's still money problems, leadership problems, safety problems, inequities...the list goes on. However, most teachers I see are going full steam ahead and are deep in the learning process with their students. Happy November everyone! Take a minute to enjoy the path you've now carved out for your school year.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Things Are Really Heating Up
At least with all the hot air...literal and figurative...smothering us this week we are getting early dismissals to deal with the pressure cooker that has become the School District of Philadelphia.
I personally did not have the dreaded one-on-one layoff meeting with my principal, but many of my fellow teaching friends were not so lucky. I say lucky, because there was no measure of skill involved in these layoff decisions, simply seniority and hiring dates. Some of these teachers are being optimistic, and say they will use the time to go back to school for a Masters Degree. A few I've spoken to say they may interview at Charter and Catholic schools, which they wouldn't normally want to do. Others say they will just put their information online at PA-REAP or PA-Educator online hiring sites, and hope for the best, though they have admitted that with other districts in the same budget binds, that they aren't expecting much. The biggest concern I've heard is not about loss of salary, as most seem somewhat confident they will make out okay with unemployment, but loss of benefits.
Once again this year, I find myself in this unique position of being able to observe so much due to my travels between 5 high schools. Never before have I had the opportunity to talk with so many different people in a school district. My previous 6 years of teaching, I had a small circle of friends that I sought out at lunch or prep. This year, without a classroom of my own at any of the 5 schools, I am much more visible, and have a chance to meet with not only teachers, but counselors, school psychologists, secretaries, school support staff, school police, etc. It has been almost surreal at times to have access to so many different perspectives on the individual schools and the district.
Though I was not given a lay-off notice, I have yet to be assigned a position for next year. Hopefully this will happen sooner than later, but in the meantime, I will digest all that I've been exposed to this year. By mid-year, I was feeling refreshed, thinking that this year was just what I needed to give me some perspective on the SDP. I had become frustrated with many things at my previous school, but this year helped me to see that I would find many of those issues at any school. I was able to come to a place of understanding where I would take things less personally. However, as the year is now winding down...these last few months I've felt that understanding turn into frustration and lack of hope for this district. As much as I try to be an optimist, and a pragmatist, I'm not seeing the place for either of those things. This city's school system is just a HOT MESS!
I'm sure all of this has be exacerbated by recent developments, and I'm feeding off of the high stress levels of everyone else around me. It also doesn't help that my school-issued teacher laptop was stolen out of my office last week at Overbrook High...and nothing has happened to the 2 students who were obviously involved....sigh.
Alas, I hope that I can use the summer to re-charge, and use this new district-wide perspective that I've been privy to this year in whatever position I land for next September.
Making my day today, and something I'll try to focus on, was saying goodbye to one of fabulous 11th grade ESOL students from Germantown. She was truly sad that I wouldn't be her teacher again next year, and said, "No other ESOL teacher will be as nice as you." She also remembered that I loved a bird that she painted earlier in the year...and gave me a smaller version that she recently made. I guess I've gotta just really treasure these little moments, and forget all the $4!+ that won't change anytime soon....
I personally did not have the dreaded one-on-one layoff meeting with my principal, but many of my fellow teaching friends were not so lucky. I say lucky, because there was no measure of skill involved in these layoff decisions, simply seniority and hiring dates. Some of these teachers are being optimistic, and say they will use the time to go back to school for a Masters Degree. A few I've spoken to say they may interview at Charter and Catholic schools, which they wouldn't normally want to do. Others say they will just put their information online at PA-REAP or PA-Educator online hiring sites, and hope for the best, though they have admitted that with other districts in the same budget binds, that they aren't expecting much. The biggest concern I've heard is not about loss of salary, as most seem somewhat confident they will make out okay with unemployment, but loss of benefits.
Once again this year, I find myself in this unique position of being able to observe so much due to my travels between 5 high schools. Never before have I had the opportunity to talk with so many different people in a school district. My previous 6 years of teaching, I had a small circle of friends that I sought out at lunch or prep. This year, without a classroom of my own at any of the 5 schools, I am much more visible, and have a chance to meet with not only teachers, but counselors, school psychologists, secretaries, school support staff, school police, etc. It has been almost surreal at times to have access to so many different perspectives on the individual schools and the district.
Though I was not given a lay-off notice, I have yet to be assigned a position for next year. Hopefully this will happen sooner than later, but in the meantime, I will digest all that I've been exposed to this year. By mid-year, I was feeling refreshed, thinking that this year was just what I needed to give me some perspective on the SDP. I had become frustrated with many things at my previous school, but this year helped me to see that I would find many of those issues at any school. I was able to come to a place of understanding where I would take things less personally. However, as the year is now winding down...these last few months I've felt that understanding turn into frustration and lack of hope for this district. As much as I try to be an optimist, and a pragmatist, I'm not seeing the place for either of those things. This city's school system is just a HOT MESS!
I'm sure all of this has be exacerbated by recent developments, and I'm feeding off of the high stress levels of everyone else around me. It also doesn't help that my school-issued teacher laptop was stolen out of my office last week at Overbrook High...and nothing has happened to the 2 students who were obviously involved....sigh.
Alas, I hope that I can use the summer to re-charge, and use this new district-wide perspective that I've been privy to this year in whatever position I land for next September.
Making my day today, and something I'll try to focus on, was saying goodbye to one of fabulous 11th grade ESOL students from Germantown. She was truly sad that I wouldn't be her teacher again next year, and said, "No other ESOL teacher will be as nice as you." She also remembered that I loved a bird that she painted earlier in the year...and gave me a smaller version that she recently made. I guess I've gotta just really treasure these little moments, and forget all the $4!+ that won't change anytime soon....
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
So Much Going On...Some Places to Keep Up With It All
The School District of Philadelphia is in crisis mode. I read about different meetings, proposals, school changes, and budget updates daily, yet I still feel like I have no idea what is going on. If you're looking to learn more about any story related to this process, check out http://www.thenotebook.org/ where you can find anything and everything district related.
Also a great resource is the Philly School Files section of Philly.com: http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/school_files/ where Kristen Graham is diligent in reporting daily updates.
As for the district, the vacancy list for 2011-2012 has been posted. Who knows how they are going to fill these positions (but I do see quite a few ESOL spots on there, so hopefully I'm in good shape?!?).
http://www.philasd.org/vacancy_list/
Additionally, for some color commentary on all of this...there are these amazing "heat" maps of the district and its surrounding areas. Anyone interested in education, or socio-economics in general will find them intriguing. http://www.localetrends.com/philadelphia-trends.php
They are available for every major city...pretty interesting stuff.
I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on all of this. I realize that with the current economic situation there will need to be some major cuts. This is understandable, and realistic. Public education is not immune to the tough times that have plagued the rest of the country. I just hope they make the right decisions, and truly cut any "fat" before making decisions that will place our students at greater risk. One item on the table right now is cutting full-day kindergarten, and that is something that I fear will cause irreparable harm. Many of the students in our district enter school very far behind as it is...this will guarantee that all of our battles are uphill for many years to come. If there is one issue that needs to be fought for, I believe this is it!
Also a great resource is the Philly School Files section of Philly.com: http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/school_files/ where Kristen Graham is diligent in reporting daily updates.
As for the district, the vacancy list for 2011-2012 has been posted. Who knows how they are going to fill these positions (but I do see quite a few ESOL spots on there, so hopefully I'm in good shape?!?).
http://www.philasd.org/vacancy_list/
Additionally, for some color commentary on all of this...there are these amazing "heat" maps of the district and its surrounding areas. Anyone interested in education, or socio-economics in general will find them intriguing. http://www.localetrends.com/philadelphia-trends.php
They are available for every major city...pretty interesting stuff.
I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on all of this. I realize that with the current economic situation there will need to be some major cuts. This is understandable, and realistic. Public education is not immune to the tough times that have plagued the rest of the country. I just hope they make the right decisions, and truly cut any "fat" before making decisions that will place our students at greater risk. One item on the table right now is cutting full-day kindergarten, and that is something that I fear will cause irreparable harm. Many of the students in our district enter school very far behind as it is...this will guarantee that all of our battles are uphill for many years to come. If there is one issue that needs to be fought for, I believe this is it!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Thumbs up, Thumbs down
This strategy is one of many used in classrooms as a "formative assessment" to check for student understanding. In some Philly schools, teachers are required to use "Thumbs up, thumbs down" as a part of their exit ticket for students to leave the room after a lesson.
From now until the end of the school year, check out my daily "Thumbs up, Thumbs down" on Twitter @yogabeth218
I am actually a bit sad that this year is over, as I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to work in 5 different high schools. I was unsure in August how this placement would work, but it has been an amazing learning experience. I have a much deeper grasp on what truly goes on...what works, what doesn't....in this troubled district. After the last two years in a very negative environment, I was really heading towards a "7 year itch" in my career. This year has saved me from that, and given me a fresh perspective that was so desperately needed. Thumbs up for that!
From now until the end of the school year, check out my daily "Thumbs up, Thumbs down" on Twitter @yogabeth218
I am actually a bit sad that this year is over, as I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to work in 5 different high schools. I was unsure in August how this placement would work, but it has been an amazing learning experience. I have a much deeper grasp on what truly goes on...what works, what doesn't....in this troubled district. After the last two years in a very negative environment, I was really heading towards a "7 year itch" in my career. This year has saved me from that, and given me a fresh perspective that was so desperately needed. Thumbs up for that!
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